| I have no clue when I last updated this and wrote anything of worth. I cant promise this entry will be any better either. But well, I have nothing else better to do. I guess I'm a bit bitter because of my current living situation. It's taking forever to find a place for the Fall. If it were only me I would have a solution by now, however, me and my three roommates (potentially 4) have been having some disagreements. The conflict of the day is: Size. There have been some places that looked all right, but the bedrooms are oddly shaped or have sloping ceilings. The peripheral roommate has qualms with location. I guess it's annoying to have to commute "so far" but in the end you have to deal with it. And so, that has been my boggle. I used to see humor in it, but i guess today is the day I have a small breakdown and then I get over it the next day. I think thats partially why I'm cranky too, because I'm slightly bored, tired, and hungry. And so I take a breath and roll with the punches.
Besides that things have been going all right. I just came back from Morocco some weeks ago, my adventure there becoming more and more a memory as we really get to see how a close knit group like ourselves keep in contact and how that's hard even with the best intentions. Right now I'm preparing for the coming semester and the rest of the summer which seems to be more complicated than I thought. With 2 weeks left in the month, there's a lot of planning to do. And that, well, is my story. I just realized its my friend's birthday tomorrow. Maybe making her a card will ease the stress. Creativity has been my way out. I think I better take it. | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment   |
| | Just when I say in my last entry it's been awhile since I've updated, I go and make another record. It's been a full semester and some months since I've said anything. I have a midterm tomorrow and one on Tuesday. I should be reviewing those instead I'm trying to make up for not revising my essay draft for my non fic writing class. So far things are going all right, better than last semester where I felt myself getting burned out and on the verge of losing my job. So I work later in the day now but still find myself jumping up and checking the time in the morning. Habits die hard. Spring Break is coming up fast. I'm not doing anything, will just be in town. I guess that's not too bad, just need to take the time to sleep when I want and to stay up however long. Clean up loose ends and finish the semester well. I'm supposed to be going to Morocco this summer. I handed in my application a few days ago. If I can pay them their money I'm going. Everything else is non-negotiable. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| It's been forever since I've updated live journal, I'm starting to become like my sister, I'm using it more and more to read others as opposed to updating my own. I've been on some other site regularly moreso than here. But I'm not here to discuss my loyalties to the written word or justify my absence. One of the few places where you don't have to have a valid excuse to do what one does. I feel as if I'm almost over my cold, it hit me like no other yesterday morning but today I'm moderately normal. God, I'm even watching this horrible Bruce Willis movie. What the hell is it? Definitely not one of his most memorable. The reasoning in me compels me to turn it off. There is obviously a correlation between program quality and length of time. Anyway, I called in sick this morning, freeing me up to do what i please. Despite sleeping for 3 hours, I opted to stay up and finish homework, eat, and head off downtown to take care of some things.
I've been trying to establish contact with people who I haven't corresponded with in awhile, and sometimes they do the work for me. A good friend of mine decided to return from her short stint on the east coast and come back to school here. We run into each other at the oddest moments, sometimes it just works that when one thinks of the other, they happen to appear. The others I've talked to online, rebuilding some sort of narrative in each others lives. They are familiar and different at the same time. I also wrote an email to another friend of mine this afternoon. He's very busy, very stressed, I can only speculate most of the time whats going on. I wonder if he's happy with what he's doing and I'm coming to the conclusion that he's not, merely caving in to pressure from the family to add to the professional generation line. Maybe I'll hear from him soon. I'm trying not to become overwhelmed in his situation like I did last time, didn't produce very good results. I'm still concerned (dare I say that I love him?) and will be here regardless of the current separation due to small spatial differences and muddled interests.
Anyway, it's late and I realize I slept for 3 hours last night and it's now catching up to me. I hope to awake in a semi lucid state, well forget lucid, if i can make it look like i'm awake in class, I'm all good. Until then. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 10:28 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/chipper.gif) chipper |
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| It feels like i've been neglecting this little Livejournal. I was searching on this other xanga site for a journal of a friend of mine and in order to do that I had to sign up. The option was just to leave it, but have begun to get consumed by blogging. Loyalties have been betrayed. But if anyone who actually reads this wants updates on a more consistant basis they can check out my other blog at:
http://www.xanga.com/bluewaterblack
Beyond that I'm enjoying my time before I start having real class this week, and considering tomorrow is Wednesday, that means I only have one day to contend with. So close to the weekend all ready and the definitive halfway mark of classes. Where has the time gone? I've finally gotten used to the bar downstairs, you stop noticing it after awhile. Pretty soon I'll be moving out of here and back to the dorm...Oh crazy dorm life you...will be a 3 year vetern of the same hall. Will we make it a 4th? Well that's too early to tell. And how sad it would be if that was the case. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I was looking through my other journal and came across a recent dream. Really weird so I thought I'd type it in here for the hell of it.
A vein in my wrist was cut, so there were band aids covering it up. A doctor looked at it and was concerned. The only person he saw with something like that had heart failure and ordered an EKG. I didn't want to, and kept asking what that meant. I was afraid of pain because they were supposed to stick a tube down my throat. I ran into this guy I knew, he was impressed by my wounds. I showed off my veins to the other people there. I think he invited me back to his apartment but that never happened. Another vein in my arm was on the verge of bursting. We saw the blood pooling to the surface. It eventually popped and blood spilled all over what seemed like snow. None of us seemed too worried about it.
Strange, I wonder what it means. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | I've become a livejournal snob since I got the internet, and so I haven't updated in awhile. There's not much to update, I bought groceries yesterday after not having any food to my name. Also been pecking at my homework for accounting the past couple of days, thankfully the answers are online, now I just need to know how to do these things for my exam on Tuesday. It'll take some work on my part, but I'm feeling particulary lazy especially since it's been so cloudy and dreary today. Heh, me and my excuses. Which in this case, I guess I should go back to the homework. I promise next update might be worth it...might be. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Here I am back in the lab, I'm trying to think of a topic to write on for my Latin American Geography class. I've already made it through one accounting lecture. It's very daunting, but I keep telling myself I have to go, and if not, I can make it up by just going online for the lecture notes. After this I'm going to probably go and exchange that modem. Anyway, things are the same, still waiting to hear back from the job I applied to, if I don't hear from them soon then I think I'll send a courtesy e-mail. There's not many other postings to go for, but I'm not too worried. It's just nice to have something to fill in the huge gap I have in between classes.
Yesterday I went to the library like always to check my e-mails, and found myself outside numerous times taking phone calls. I didn't realize that here in the summer there were so many birds, noisy little things. There was this one cardinal who, poor thing, kept running into the class windows. Either he was trying to get inside or he was headrushing is own reflection. Maybe that's what his calls were all about. No one answered of course, because he was serenading himself. He tried for awhile, maybe he continued to try after I left. Before I could someone came up to me, Canada Dan as he calls himself and asked if I wanted pancake mix, and after some thought, a box of lasagna noodles. I wasn't expecting a homeless guy to hand me some of his own food, but what good can you do with those things? He was nice, a political science major, trying to get his life on track. I told him I didn't know what I was going to do with my degree and then remarks back, that he's still trying to find out what he wants to do with his life (He's currently 52). "Everyday is an adventure!" he exclaims, before turning around and going back to his 'home' on the other side of campus. I think we were both open to having a decent conversation, even if it was for a few minutes. I looked back at the cardinal who was still persistently running into the windows and singing and shook my head. Sometimes you have to keep trying even if your efforts seem fruitless. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | All right, get this, I go and exchange my other modem at Time Warner and it doesn't work. I call the tech support people and after an hour or so of investigation the guy comes back on the phone and says that its my modem (again) apparently there was an e-mail sent out about a batch of modems that had some sort of defect, lo and behold, I recieved another one. The guy on the phone was extremely apologetic, to the point I found it funny because he continued to say he wished he would have done more, and considering that I haven't dealt with this man directly I don't know what that would have been. I have a slight suspicion that he was taking a liking to me. I have no intentions of meeting this man in person. The solution? I have to come in again and get a 3rd modem. Third times a charm right? I guess it's not too horrible considering i have to go back there anyway to return a power cord to the first modem. This is one big mess, all I want is the net. If i had a land line I would just get dial up, but I don't so we work with what we have. Soon enough this fiasco will be over. And oh yeah, after all of that bus transferring to get to the place, as soon as I reach the street in front of my apartment I see the buses that I needed to take pass right before my eyes. I could have taken a direct route just by stepping outside to the corner. How ironic, but I guess it's just a little intervention. Next time I go out there I know what to do, maybe it'll make things easier. Anyway, I have to copy some notes now. Until the next update, hopefully from my own computer. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Well, I'm so close to having the internet at home but then a series of uninformative answers to my questions has left me confused. The Road Runner cable guy finally came yesterday afternoon to install my modem. And by install I mean just hook up a few wires, I could have done it myself, but it was free and I can't really complain. Everything should be working correctly, all of the right indicators are blinking or solid like it's supposed to. The only thing is that I can't seem to get a valid IP address, which according to the guy should renew itself automatically if it was working properly. He said it was something wrong with my computer and once again (he did this twice) hurridly rushed off because he was afraid of getting a ticket. He could have stayed, but I have a feeling even if he did, he wouldn't have done any good. I'll have to keep fiddling with it, and maybe get further outside assistance. I mean, you have to pay upfront, which I did. I don't have a ton of money to throw around so something that works is a real plus. Anyway, I guess I'm not too concerned with it. It's an inconvienance surely, but I'm kind of interested in finding out what exactly is the problem and learning the logistical stuff about my computer in the meantime. I think it's having some troubles, memory dumping blue screens, the occasional unable to read boot record...who knows, maybe down the line I'm going to need something new soon. But not now, I can't really afford it. And so already I'm sounding like one of those people way into computers, which in fact I am but not to the extent that some people are. And even if I was, I'm not the person to advertise that to everyone.
Anyway, the week is almost over, I'm feeling unmotivated as ever to do my homework and I'm guessing that I won't feel any better this weekend, minus Sunday, a day in which I usually set aside in order to get ready for the rest of the week, homework, laundry, cleaning up and vegging out. I might do myself some good and read over some accounting. The last thing I need is to screw myself so early. I'm already at a slight disadvantage since I'm nowhere near being a business student. But I'll keep telling myself that it's not extremely difficult, just different, and that's challenging enough. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| Well, it's the first day of classes and I just finished one of them this morning. Financial Accounting. Why I'm in there I'm not quite sure... I was kind of weary considering that its something through the Carlson school and we know how business students can get, I didn't want to be stuck in a crowd of overly ambitious know-it-alls. It doesn't seem to be too bad, open note/book exams, all lectures are online and will presumably be from the book so its up to me to decide when is it worth coming. I can't really absorb information so quickly by taking notes, so maybe I'll just read the book and occasionally show up, I don't know. Either way, that's that and I don't have any particularly strong opinion about it. Maybe sometime into the class I'll get tired of it, or maybe I'll actually like it.
Tonight I have Latin American Geography, more of my comfort level and not as uptight I would think as a business course. I know of one person in my class, i ran into her accidentally on my way to Applebees. We've been meaning to hang out over the past year but never have, I guess this will at least give us common things to gripe about. I'll have to make further impressions later. As for Applebees a few days ago I had another 'telepathic' connection as funny as that sounds. Something told me to call a friend of mine and Applebees came into my head as well so I give her a call and she informs me, with surprise, that she was about to call me and ask if I wanted to go. I guess I beat her to it. This happens on occasion actually, I'm semi all right with guessing who's calling me, particularly if my sister is going to call. Or I'll pick up something the other person is thinking. Fun little 'coincedences' that makes life a bit more interesting. Eating was cool, dishing about how evil the campus library headhonchos are is more interesting than one would think. Power hungry bastards! Ha.
Nonetheless, that is that. I have 5 hours or so before my next class. I think perhaps I will take a nap! | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Just a quick update. It's Friday and a week has slowly gone to pass. I see someone at the computer in front of me looking for a job, things are tight around here and those who are looking for one are having a hard time finding one. I think I might have a good chance with the global studies office. it is my major so having an inside look might be helpful. Last night I helped my roommate move in some of her things in barely enough time to go to dinner with a friend of mine. It was sort of her "farewell" dinner. This summer she'll be doing an internship in NY and going to Univ of Penn perhaps in a year or so. Amidst all of the rush I didn't realize how much i'd miss her until i got dropped off at my apartment and finally settled down after a long day of planning and socializing. My Thursdays continue to be the most eventful day out of the whole week. Nothing much else going on, slowly people I've become aquainted with move into town for classes and similarily people I know move away. We're all trying to do our own thing. First round of classes start on Monday, I'm hoping they won't kick my ass too much, even if it does I've been reassured that everything willl work out in the end. They usually do, but sometimes its hard to see that when things get rough.
Until the next time I update... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I'm sitting here calmly at the library, of course still without internet or else I'd be at my apartment doing these things. The computer I'm on is really crappy, the keys get stuck all of the time, especially the all important spacebar. The weather has turned cooler, not like I can complain, the past few days have been too much. I just saw someone I would rather avoid, the prospects of running into him now has increased. Once you make a note of something in your consciousness it crops up everywhere. That's just the law.
Yesterday I was out with Tracy finally getting that crab dinner I've been deprived of for a few weeks now. It was a good time, with of course a nice helping of humorous accounts of family life to finish off the meal. I can't believe someone can constantly roll down the steps in their sleep. That's just hilarious to me. If you're reading this and i get ambitious one day, trust me, someone's life is going to be made into a manga. Chances of that happening? Slim. But it doesn't cost anything to bring up the idea. Oh yeah, we made a pseudo-Target run too, and when I say pseudo-Target run I mean we went to Wal-mart. my total came to just about 30 dollars, that must be a record. But never again am I doing those self-serve scanners. How confusing! Haha, how dumb we must have looked.
Its the following morning and I still have the majority of my Smarties in the bag, I guess I didnt binge too much but I do have a lingering burning aftertaste of them in my throat considering I had some for breakfast this morning. Shame on me. Anyway, enough of this. I'm improvising the rest of my day again. Maybe I'll do something with all of that paper I bought. I paid for it damnit. Anyway, until the next tragically new day.
P.S. We saw the creepiest guy with a beard and large eyes last night. It had (the beard I mean) some strange tiger striping effect. It was so dumb yet amusing we doubled back to get a better look. Needless to say any eye contact for more than a second wasn't possible. To contain our laughter was a feat that even God couldn't hold back, haha. It was that bad. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Well, I moved into my apartment last night. We went through multiple storm fronts on the way up here as well as at least 20 deer on the side of the road not to mention miscellanious road kill. It was unbelievable. I haven't seen so much road kill on one stretch of road. Well its a major highway, but still. We got in with heavy black clouds waiting for us, the first load went all right, but a friend of mine had stuff in storage, by the time we got that it was pouring down rain. Nonetheless we still got all of my things into the apartment without damaging or killing anyone/thing. I just woke up not too long ago in a pile of my own clothes on the floor. I was up since 7 this morning though, I couldn't sleep once again. And have been wandering around trying to find things to do ever since. I've been out walking more than 3 times now, but at least in one run I got plastic silverware so I can at least eat this cereal my dad brought me. I'm improvising my meals until my roommate moves in then we'll probably really go shopping. I'll just enjoy having the place to myself and not having to take classes which is the reason why I'm up here. Anything for a change of pace.
So far I like the campus in the summer, not as many students, peaceful for the most part. If i want excitement I have my apartment, living by so many bars, restaurants and things is a plus...unless the noise becomes unbearable. Last night there was a marathon of people yelling "Whaat?"...."Okaaay!" down the streets. It seems almost like a dream as I think back on it now, not to mention the screaming of one man in particular I think I might have wanted to kill but was too tired to really care. Anyway, I should finish this off and then go back to my apartment and clean up my mess. With 3 religious channels and a couple of mediocre basic stations, there's nothing on TV. And without the net well...well, I have to go back to more conventional methods to entertain myself. Until next time! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| It's been eons since I've updated this thing, and with good reason. I've been home for the past 3 weeks without the internet. I'm at the library right now rushing for time because they only give you limited amounts of time on here. Its not like I can't just log on again but being in the middle of something and being cut off gets kind of annoying. I'm heading back to my old stomping grounds in Minnesota this weekend to move into my apartment and get myself established before I start taking summer classes. I know I'll be dirt poor, I have enough money to last me the summer I'm sure, but after that I won't have very much left. This is why its imperative that I get a job soon, there's not many postings on the job board, but I'm going to try and make one phone call before I head on back up there. ((Sigh))
Traci if you ever read this, we should pig out soon! Its a must! It's been awhile since I've had crab legs.
Alas, nothing much going on. Getting up, dancing around the house for an hour or so for excercise and indulging in cable for the rest of the day. I've been doing a bit more drawing lately as well as reading. I guess I can't complain, vacation so far as been status quo, a bit pleasant. We've been getting a lot of rain and I usually stand by the door and watch the trees get darker and pinpoint areas of the city that are getting rain by the placement of the clouds. It's smelling more like spring but with it being June I'd expect it to be a bit warmer. But the temperature I guess has been comfortable. Anyway, gotta go. I'll be updating again once I get back to Minnesota. Ciao | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | I'm watching Mad Mad House right now on SciFi. There's nothing else better at the moment. I was so engrossed in cleaning my room anyway that it doesn't matter. Don't remember when I last updated or how many people still read this thing including myself. I went to the Daily's job fair...it really sucked, but i got a coupon for free Chipotle. The job search continues, there's no way I'm working at the library again during the summer, I want a new everything, including job. Tomorrow I'll be looking at an apartment, if it looks good (which it should) then we're taking it, how exciting...until I watch my money dwindle away. Whatever. Now...I have some things I have to take care of. Until we meet again. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| Right now I don't care about the news.
My life is full of intentions. Like I intended to update this but have been wandering around my room for 20 minutes now. It was also my intention to go straight from work to the dorm in order to take a nap. I ran into my friend Traci on the bus, ultimately swaying her (without effort or suggestion) to not to go to class but instead eat at Applebees. Anything was better than UDS and how could I pass up the opportunity considering just the other day I was thinking that we havent had the chance to go out to eat due to the bus strike. Our waiter was enthusiastic, and before I knew it I had 3 pepsis brought out to me. With the sun getting into my eyes, I slouched to the point of almost going under the table to get away. I have to say (and Traci will vouch for me) that the steak depicted on the menu was way off from what we got. It was thin and kinda burnt, but that's what I ordered. I never really ordered steak at a restaurant so I wasn't so sure what I was asking for. Tired beyond recognition we both got a good laugh at this discrepancy as well as the humorous renditions of understanding accents. Both unrelated, but it did not matter.
I crashed when I got home, after working so hard on this global studies paper the other night I'm exhausted. There's some arabic homework to do, when is there never homework. Like a delinquent I'm contemplating not going to my first class tomorrow. I don't want to wake up early anymore, and so I've learned that I can't handle getting up for an 8 o'clock. I could handle getting up way earlier in high school, now is an impossibility unless I had a set schedule, and when you're in college that's next to impossible.
I should use my time wisely though, a night of freedom can get to your head, and before you know it you're cursing yourself for not getting things done when you had the chance. I've done that too many times, I need a break from that for once. Until we meet again... | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | I always manage to update my journal at work which in other circumstances would mean diligence, but in this case it always means an affinity for avoidance. It's a fantastic day outside, I'm stuck in here, but for the best I suppose. I need something to support my loose spending habits. But if anything I really should tighten up my wallet, especially if I want to take classes in the summer. That means I'll have to buy groceries, pay for rent, and all that other nonsense, and save up if I am to go to Morocco in the Spring. There's little over a month of real school left to deal with before final exams. This school year went faster than the last one, and even then it was something to contend with. It's been a mixture of experiences so far, meeting a lot of new people, having to deal with interacting with them all, and trying to balance out everything else in your life. Emotionally I've been lacking. Too many directions are being offered and I'm wondering which one to take. Maybe the anticipation is worse than the actual event. I don't think I give myself as much credit as I deserve, and as much as I know what to do, I keep asking every other resource for a second, third, fourth opinion. I just have to ask myself, what is it that I need to do in order to move forward. There's a lot of things to accomplish before the end. Besides the all so important socializing issue, I need to figure out a game plan for the summer, an apartment, some classes, a budget, and then the rest should fall in place hopefully. And everything must include even finishing my work day here. Have a few more things to put away and file so hopefully I can spend the last hour starting homework I had intentions of starting ealier. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I've been sitting here for I don't know how long scrolling through past journal entries. Its been a week since I've updated. It feels like longer, things always feel longer when they've passed by, unless its one of those situations in which you were aching to escape in the first place. I was in the middle of studying for my Arabic midterm, as I should considering the panic I felt within me when my teacher listed off all the things we should know. That is not a particularly good sign. Six chapters of things I halfway remember. All of those times where I couldn't concentrate, or refused to, are catching up to me. I should resent myself for all the procrastination, but what good would that do. I need a new beginning in a lot of things and I need to write it down and make a game plan so there can be a better chance of me executing it. I'm just so lazy, especially when it comes to myself and thats not the way it should be.
It feels like Spring here at work. I'm slightly inspired. I'm unbalanced. I don't feel like making sense at this point. I should do a bit of real work and then get back to Arabic. I really need to do this. I don't want to screw up in my classes after a semester of doing so well. And the only reason why that would happen would be because all of my energy is focused elsewhere. At this moment I'm feeling a bit more centered and I hope to keep it that way. I know I'm going to spin uncontrollably but I have to continue to bring myself back.
I'm supposed to be hanging out after work (Yeah, Arabic will have to be put on the back burner for the moment again *rolls eyes*), my friend has an extra ticket to the Roots concert tonight. We eat out, we go hang at the concert. I just hope that it'll be worth my time. It is an awfully nice day out though, and I need to utilize it somehow. I'm still stuck in here for another hour. Now, onto the work (homework and otherwise) and then getting the hell out of here. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I came back from eating tonight, checked my voice mail messages and listened to my dad leave a really long note announcing that he just got engaged on Valentine's Day. Engaged?! Well I knew it was coming some time or another, but you never know when that day will be. I'm real excited for him, all I can hope for now is that my mom finds whatever it is she's looking for. He said he saw her the other night but she wasn't looking all that great. I wonder what that's about, I'll have to call her sometime to find out what's going on, if anything. Maybe it's just the blues.
Made it through a midterm...a day...an engagement announcement, now here's my sister IMing me right now just hearing the news. Its a different kind of year for everyone I think. I wonder what else will transpire...all the possibilities, hopefully they'll be better and not worse. Until then.
Who knows. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Well well folks, this is the day where some people get into odd emotional uproars due to this one holiday. Some people are psyched, some people are depressed, others are indifferent. Yesterday was a hodge podge of occurances. My bias toward Friday could have started that trend. I woke up feeling completely negative, not wanting to get up and had this tremendous headache. There was something I couldn't shake off and made my lateness seem to be a further annoyance. Took the last of my aspirin and mid-way between my last class and going to work I felt much better. It was partially because the sun was out not so harshly and the weather was relatively warm, the rest was due to the relaxation in my tense muscles. I didn't mind being at work and in fact got into a slower pace. The temperature and slight indication of the air system blowing once again made me feel like Spring.
Maybe, as I declared before I made my way to St. Paul that afternoon, that I hated my job. It was something I can do, but not something I want to keep doing forever. Maybe, as I think back now, I hate the winters here and finally want to break free from the fluctuations in condition. The darkness makes me tired, the wind makes me not want to go outside. I want that transition into Spring, the joy I felt just going outside and walking after getting off of work at night, the creativity in dreaming wistfully and studying with my roommate by the river. That is not the case in these moments.
Pulling my attention again back to last night I kind of hung out with this person or that, and eventually finding myself in a strange situation between friends. Both are having problems, one expressing them openly, depressed, sad with herself, wanting to be loved and not believing she deserves it. The other having problems with her family, and while one ear nursed the stories of self-depreciation, the other one heard unrelated stories. She didn't want to deal with it and instead chose to look at some internet sites. I was sort of in the middle giving advice where I could when I knew nothing was going to get accomplished that night. Reluctantly helped clean the room, gathered all our stuff, and after getting "kicked out", I took my other friend back to my room. She slept over, we talked in half-consciousness, she got not-so depressed, and things were all right by the morning.
My other friend says to me when she told us to go back to our rooms if I was okay with this. "I don't have a choice do I?" I can't say I don't want to deal with it because she doesn't live around the dorms. I don't mind helping my friends, but people just can't keep getting passed off to me. I'm trying to be as stable as I can, but for real. I can't be everyone's crutch as much as I'd like to. Until things change just call me the camp counselor. That seems to be my role. I know once I'm done eating I'm going to take a nap. I haven't gotten a lot of sleep the past few days. I wonder if I'll ever get a decent night's rest. I need something, anything, a getaway, some surprise. And if not, I just want to chill out and maybe be lazy.
And such is my life. I hope this coming week is better. My God... | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
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